I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
this will be a night to untag.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
