Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I won the penis lottery.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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