I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
