just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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