I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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