She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
do herpes really smell.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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