Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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