she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
