What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
