grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
