I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
