i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
