I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
