Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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