someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
