I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
