Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.

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(408): View more from California

I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...

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(540): View more from Virginia

he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck

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(269): View more from Michigan

I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

"bouncy castle"

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..

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(815): View more from Illinois

I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.

(210): View more from Texas

Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.

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