i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more