He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize