What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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