I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize