Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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