imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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