At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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