We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
