you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
