i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
be right there i have to get my cape
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
