The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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