too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize