Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize