Soap is not a condiment
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
