i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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