So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
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He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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