I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
