Sry I called you an 8
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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