I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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