should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
