something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
