His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize