And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
