He is an equal opportunity slut.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's not a walk of shame if you run
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
