Screwed.edu
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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