Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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