I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
