good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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