Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
