It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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