he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
