I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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