Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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