I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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