Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize