I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
