I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
