I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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