i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
