his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
