I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
