I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize