ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
