:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
