there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm always down for nudity.
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