I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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