I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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