I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
