dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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