Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
